Moodiness and PMS
|Image: by anathea, some rights reserved|
Women often stuff certain feelings, especially those related to anger and their need for support. Resentment and pain can build up as a result. Dr. Northrup says that the change in our hormones at the time of our menstrual cycle serves as sort of a cleansing, a time to push out those emotions we’ve been holding in.
Unfortunately, many of us utilize poor communication skills when this happens. In addition, we continue to ignore what's really going on and just accept the societal view that we are crazy (a.k.a. hormonal). And once again, our anger, sadness, and needs go invalidated and neglected.
Learning to recognize our emotions and needs while building effective ways of communicating can make a difference in how we experience these hormonal shifts. Not to mention, it can also improve our relationships.
The Winter Blues
Speaking of cycles and their value in offering an opportunity to become attuned to our needs, holistic perspectives also consider the season's relationship with emotions. A friend of mine, Carla Savetsky, who is both an herbalist and a registered physician’s assistant in the field of obstetrics and gynecology, recently wrote about her history of seasonal depression. She shared it had been under control in recent years but that she was struck by it again during this especially challenging winter. She wrote how at first she found herself lost in the depressed feelings but eventually decided to take the risk of embracing them, “welcoming them to the table," so to speak, to find out what message they were trying to give her.
Winter is time when many organisms go into hibernation as the earth is nourished and prepares for new life (spring). Holistic practitioners often view life experience as running parallel to the cycle of seasons and that it is not entirely crazy to feel somewhat somber during the cold months of the year. As my friend remembered that winter can be an important time for self-reflection, she embraced the low feelings and tried to learn from them. Connecting to herself in this way helped the feelings to lift.
Now the thing with depression is that while there may be something valuable to glean from it, it can also send distorted information. It can make you think the message is that you are worthless or that life has no hope. I don’t think that was the message Carla was attempting to get at. Her point was that there may be something underlying, a loss that needs to be grieved, a boundary that needs to be set, a wrong that needs to be corrected, procrastination that needs to end, or a lack of human connection prompting the need to actively seek relationships.
As a coach, and now as a therapist, I have always derived some of my work from feminist theory, which says that emotion, whether related to an immediate hurt, PMS, or the winter blues, is often there for a reason, and it should be looked at and validated. When you can see it as real and what may be behind it, effective solutions are more likely to be found.
Psychoherapy in Midtown
Having someone to talk to who understands depression, winter blues, or hormonal shifts and their interaction with our emotions can really make a difference in helping us to heal. I am now offering counseling and therapy in Midtown Manhattan on Sundays. Check out more details below or at this link: http://www.myheartdances.com/p/psychotherapy.html
Melissa King, M.S.Ed. : Life Coach for Women * Dating / Relationships / Health
Specializing in helping women to honor their needs and values while developing practical solutions to life challenges.
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